Boogers
There’s a new scourge in the city, and this time it’s inside Metro Hall…

The administration of Mayor Greg Fischer has sought to tackle many problems plaguing Louisville over the last five years, such as violent crime, homelessness, traffic congestion and illegal dumping. But according to a recent email sent to city employees by their manager, there is a new scourge in Louisville that is housed inside Metro Government’s own offices.

Boogers. Lots of them.

Metro Planning & Design Services manager Joe Reverman sent an email to department staff and administrators on Tuesday, calling attention to the little yellow terrors proliferating unchecked within their own office restroom, warning the pick-happy perpetrators of retribution, and advising everyone to be on the lookout for suspicious nostril activity.

“We have recently discovered mass quantities of boogers on the two walls around the urinal in the 3rd floor men’s restroom,” wrote Reverman. “I sincerely hope this is not a result of actions by any member of Planning & Design Services. This is obviously a very serious situation. Anybody caught doing this could face disciplinary action. We will have this area cleaned, however this is very embarrassing to our department to have this problem. Please keep a look out and let me know if you see any suspicious activity.”

In a follow-up email, Heather Plowman — an executive administrator of Develop Louisville — gave Metro Planning & Design employees tips on how to properly dispose of their boogers and said signs were being made to give them a daily reminder of such procedure.

“At no point should anything that comes out of or off a person’s body be wiped/poured/spit or in any way put on any Metro-owned surface (with the exception of items commonly and appropriately flushed down toilets/urinals or rinsed down a sink drain), including surfaces in both public areas and offices,” wrote Plowman. “Anyone caught doing so will be punished fully and immediately. If you have any questions as to what constitutes an offensive substance, or if you need assistance determining an appropriate method of disposing of such substances, please see a member of management or human resources.”

The email chain included all of the supervisors within Planning & Design, as well as department director Emily Liu.

Asked if the department had any leads on the gold-digging perpetrators, or if there is an estimate for the cost of the cleanup of their restroom, Planning & Design spokesman Will Ford told IL that he would try to dig out that information as soon as he could for us.

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Joe Sonka
Joe Sonka is a staff writer at Insider Louisville focusing on government, politics, education and public safety. He is a former news editor and staff writer at LEO Weekly and has also freelanced for The Nation and ThinkProgress. He has won first place awards from the Louisville Metro chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists in the categories of Health Reporting, Enterprise Reporting, Government/Politics, Minority/Women’s Affairs Reporting, Continuing Coverage and Best Blog. Email him at [email protected]