Courtesy of UofL Athletics

Home Sick: Your University of Louisville fighting football Cardinals didn’t put up much of a fight on Saturday, falling to the Tigers of Clemson, 47-21, says The Washington Post.

Clemson was a 3½ point favorite, so winning by 26 was just unnecessary, really. Some are calling it a “statement game” for Clemson. If the statement is that the Tigers are mean-spirited, I agree.

Resident all-everything Lamar Jackson still finished the game with 381 yards, but much of that came too late in the game to mean much. Said Mr. Jackson:

“We came out flat. We weren’t scoring points. The offense did a horrible job tonight. It’s all on us.”

The Tigers hopped up to No. 2 following the victory; the Cardinals fell to No. 19, which is kind of generous.

USA Today is ready to go ahead and send Clemson to the national championship, and Deadspin says Mr. Jackson just surrendered the Heisman trophy to no one in particular.

That’s a lot for week 3. But then this one had a lot riding on it and you have to win the big ones if you want to take it all the way.

Nevertheless, here’s hoping for a rebound against the Golden Flashes of Kent State. No idea what a golden flash was, but according to KentWired.com, in the ’70s, the mascot was called the Golden Flasher, so. Two little letters can make all the difference.

They’ll play that one up the road at Cardinal Stadium at noon.

Gone Overboard: September 19 was “Talk Like a Pirate” Day, says USA Today, and Louisville’s Long John Silver’s hired local teacher, actor and all-around great guy Jordan Price to be their spokes-pirate.

Here he is in a video shared on the Facebook page for Long John Silver’s:

And here’s a behind-the-scenes peek from WHAS 11:

Part of his spokes-pirate duties sent him up to New York to visit with ABC’s “Good Morning America,” which you can watch over at ABC News. He was there alongside his partner, a giant twinkie with an eye patch.

I worked with Jordan on a show a couple of years ago, so I reached out to him to see whom he preferred acting opposite — me or the twinkie.

No response on that one.

He did, however, say this project was a blast to work on:

“It was amazing to have the opportunity to be a part of such an iconic program. Getting to see how the production comes together was an invaluable experience for me, which I hope to share with my students. This was easily one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in my life.”

See? Class act, that one. All-around good guy. Gets a national spot and the thing he’s thinking about is his students. That’s who you want in your classroom, and Lincoln’s darned lucky to have him.

The Dark Lord went out for that pirate spot, by the way.


They didn’t take him. He’s displeased. Holds a grudge.

It Takes a Village: Our friends at WalletHub put together their list of “2017’s Most & Least Diverse States in America.” Kentucky — not so diverse. We rank No. 45 overall, No. 46 in income diversity and No. 47 in linguistic diversity.

California is the most diverse state in the land; West Virginia is the least.

WalletHub used a methodology for compiling statistics in 1) Socio-economic Diversity, 2) Cultural Diversity, 3) Economic Diversity, 4) Household Diversity and 5) Religious Diversity. They took those things, looked at them another few ways, weighted them and from there, they made their list.

We’re consistent, at least. We’ve been hanging out in the lower 5-10 spots since 2009.

F-: Darren Aronofsky’s new horror-suspense-thriller “mother!” opened last weekend and response remained divided throughout the week. The film stars Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem as a couple interrupted by pesky unwanted guests.

As though there are pesky wanted guests. Though that’s not so crazy, really. We all know those people.

When we touched base last week, Rotten Tomatoes critics liked it much more than general audiences: 74 percent of critics were positive compared to 52 percent of theatergoers. This week, both those figures have dropped to 67 and 44 percent respectively.

And then there’s the CinemaScore. Grade: F.

Which The Hollywood Reporter notes is very rare. Only 19 movies have earned that distinction in the 31-year history of the thing. Vulture says all those movies have one major thing in common: They didn’t give the audience what they thought they were getting.

So a movie billed as a psychological horror film with big name stars that turns out to be an allegory for climate change, for instance. At least that’s what Mr. Aronofsky says, according to Entertainment Weekly:

“It scares me, and it’s time to start screaming. So I wanted to howl. This was my howl, and some people are not going to want to listen to it. That’s cool.”

On the film’s F CinemaScore, he tells The Frame:

“How, if you walk out of this movie, are you not going to give it an F? It’s a punch. It’s a total punch. And I realize that we were excited by that. We wanted to make a punk movie and come at you. And the reason I wanted to [make this movie] is because I was very sad and I had a lot of anguish and I wanted to express it. Filmmaking is such a hard journey. People are constantly saying no to you. And to wake up every morning and get out of bed and to face all those no’s, you have to be willing to really believe in something.”

Fair enough, I think. And he’s in a spot to do this sort of thing. “I’m going to make my movie and I’m not mad at you if it’s not your thing. See you next time.” Respect. The old theater company for which I was a co-producing artistic director and co-creator had a similar philosophy, and our productions were like Louisville weather: If you don’t like the show, that’s OK. Come back next time because it’s going to be completely different.

And Paramount, the film’s distributor, is hanging in with him, too. Paramount worldwide president of marketing and distribution Megan Colligan told The Hollywood Reporter:

“This movie is very audacious and brave. You are talking about a director at the top of his game, and an actress at the top her game. They made a movie that was intended to be bold. Everyone wants original filmmaking, and everyone celebrates Netflix when they tell a story no one else wants to tell. This is our version. We don’t want all movies to be safe. And it’s okay if some people don’t like it.”

Double respect. Because that’s a fascinating line to take for a studio. Which makes me think she knows something we don’t. She probably knows a lot we don’t. But it makes me think she believes the controversy is going to drum up big business on the back end.

Welp, we don’t open the reader mailbag up as often as we used to, but if we did, I tell you my biggest query this week by far was what I thought of “mother!”

Which is a fair question. I’ve written about Jennifer Lawrence just about every week for over four years running and I manage to work cinema into the column just about every week, too. So a new Jennifer Lawrence film has to be like my life’s eternal peanut butter cup.

And … well, I haven’t seen it yet.

But I have a really great reason.

On Saturday, Sept. 16, I married the most wonderful woman this side of anything, the most beautiful woman in the history of ever, the breathtakingly talented Megan, who pops up in the column semi-regularly.

I didn’t talk about it last Friday because I didn’t want to jinx anything. Things happen and I don’t take anything for granted.

But I’m happy to report that things were so perfect that even the things that inevitably go wrong still ended up going wrong in only the best ways. Magical, really.

I may have teared up during my vows, but if I did, you should know they were manly tears that left craters in the floor when they fell because they were so strong. And also, it was only during one or two spots to let people know I cared about what was going on.

What?

I’ll also say that looking around that day, being surrounded by such a large number of family and friends, all happy — you can’t beat that. Even when people misbehaved, no one seemed to mind. You can’t really beat that either.

Anyway. Thanks one and all for making it one of the greatest days ever.

See you next week.

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