Papa Don’t Preach: Things got salty and fast in the pizza world this week. John Schnatter, CEO of Papa John’s, the official pizza of the NFL, reported some poor numbers for Papa John’s this quarter.

The Washington Post says Papa John’s stock fell 11 percent on Wednesday, and as owner of roughly 25 percent of Papa John’s, Schnatter’s personal net worth fell $70 million almost immediately after the company released its quarterly report.

Forbes estimates he’s now only worth $801 million.

The reason for all this, according to Schnatter: the protests from NFL players, reports Bloomberg, ESPN and Sports Illustrated.

“This year, the ratings have gone backwards because of the controversy. The controversy is polarizing the customer, polarizing the country.”

“The NFL has hurt us. More importantly, by not resolving the current debacle to the players’ and owners’ satisfaction. NFL leadership has hurt Papa John’s shareholders. This should have been nipped in the bud a year and a half ago.”

“Leadership starts at the top. And this is an example of poor leadership.”

He’s talking about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell there. I’d argue that leadership would be to open a dialog rather than shout at one another through media channels, but that’s probably not as politically advantageous. I mean, it would actually help us as a society, but that’s not as profitable.

Anyway.

He is right about one thing: NFL ratings are down. But at a recent owner’s meeting, that was just one of the possible reasons for the decline. Others include: hurricanes, lackluster games, competition from other television programs.

And not for nothing, the post says their earnings were down in Q2 as well and there was no football to do anything for sales one way or another.

I don’t know what response Schnatter thought he’d get, but doubtful he thought it would be what followed.

Twitter lit up, of course. But it was DiGiorno Pizza‏ that really got all kinds of feisty:

Like, they made a day of it. Like they had been waiting to grow that shade tree for the longest.

And on Thursday, Yum! Brands CEO Greg Creed said its subsidiary Pizza Hut hadn’t taken a hit at all, reports Fortune. He said, “We’re not seeing impact on any of that on our business.”

And then this happened:

And also this:

And so now you can choose, apparently, liberal and conservative fast economy pizza. Although we have this bit of reconciliation from “Guardians of the Galaxy” director James Gunn:

The Washington Post says Schnatter’s reasoning behind the company’s decline is a bit of a stretch, but that whatever backlash they’re experiencing won’t last long. Somebody, somewhere is going to want an average pizza for a mostly reasonable price again and this will fade from view.

American Horror Story: CBS News put together a profile of murder in America with its “Murder Map: Deadliest U.S. Cities,” based on the Major Cities Chiefs Association’s Violent Crime Survey, comparing data from Jan. 1 to June 30, 2017 and 2016.

The good news: We’re not St. Louis. They’re sitting at No. 1, with 29.1 per 100,000 people and 92 homicides in the first half of 2017.

The bad news is, we’re at No. 11, with a murder rate in Louisville is 10.8 per 100,000. That’s a higher ranking than places like Philadelphia, Atlanta or Washington, D.C.

Nationwide, homicide, rape, robbery and aggravated assault are all up from last year. Non-fatal shootings are down just a little.

In Louisville, homicides are up from 53 to 66 as of July 31, 2017, but all other categories are down: robberies down 14 percent, rape down 15 percent, non-fatal shootings down by 16 percent and aggravated assault is down, but just barely, from 1453 to 1445, not quite a single percentage point.

The report compiled data from 62 responding agencies and specifies the results are preliminary and not intended to be a final UCR/NIBRS report.

To Do List: VacationIdea, the dream vacation magazine, gives you 25 of the “Best Things to Do in Louisville, Kentucky.” It hits all the high notes you’d expect: Churchill Downs and the Derby Museum next door, Ali Center and Slugger Field, but there are some other notable-but-not-as-obvious spots on the list, too, like the Mayan Café and Whitehall.

They also have a Ware wedding tour of sorts in there. I mean, they don’t call it that exactly, but we married in Old Louisville, reception at historic Locust Grove and the rehearsal dinner the night before at The Bard’s Town, Louisville theater’s place to go, and all of that’s on there.

Speaking of, I’m writing this from the airport on my honeymoon, which, you know, that’s maybe not my best look. Some might call that poor planning, others might say it’s dedication. I’m a man of commitment to both you and my wife.

Also, there’s some kind of jazz organ flute thing happening in the airport lounge and a British lady on her phone next to me, saying in the calmest voice I’ve ever heard: “Well, you see, I’ve lost two grand here, it would seem, and I’d very much appreciate you finding it, lad. There’s only so much I can cope with.”

And after she gets off the phone, she says, “Well, we’ll be looking up that daft man later on then, won’t we?”

The British as a people have mastered the rhetorical question in ways the rest of the world can’t even comprehend. They can make it do just about anything from elicit agreement to downright insult someone and ask them to go along.

“Well, you’re a bit on the dim side then, aren’t you?”

“… I guess so …?”

Guest Host: Jennifer Lawrence took over hosting duties on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” last night, says The Hollywood Reporter and The Hill.

Kimmel scheduled a slew of guest hosts to cover for him while he prepares for his son’s heart surgery. The procedure was originally set to happen this week but rescheduled due to the family coming down with colds.

“As a precautionary measure, the scheduled second heart surgery for Jimmy Kimmel’s son Billy had to be postponed this week due to the common cold. Jimmy is very grateful to Shaquille O’Neal, Dave Grohl, Channing Tatum and Jennifer Lawrence for filling his very small shoes as guest host this week while he, his wife and children sneeze on each other.”

So boy howdy do I have the highlights for you. Here’s Ms. Lawrence prepping for the show:

And here’s her opening monologue:

https://youtu.be/qsLdYUonNtk

Her guests included Kim Kardashian and Louisville’s own Linkin Bridge.

The Kardashian interview is of particular interest to the loathed E! and Entertainment Tonight gives you their Top 5 moments. The Telegraph highlights their talk about President Trump and O.J. Simpson.

You can watch the whole thing here:
https://youtu.be/TeSwZ-wmWVQ

The Hollywood Reporter says she revealed the seventh annual prank, “Hey Jimmy Kimmel, I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy.” You can watch that one here:

And UPROXX covered her trip down Hollywood Boulevard, asking random strangers to identify five of her movies:

And here’s a quick turnaround for you: The daft lad has located the British woman’s two grand, so she won’t need to look him up, after all, will she?

See you next week.

Kyle Ware
Kyle Ware is a Louisville-based actor, artist, educator and writer. His column, In Other News, appears at Insider Louisville every Friday.