photo by Linda Golden
Photo by Linda Golden.

Although horse racing was a popular sport during Shakespeare’s day, it seems the Bard really had no interest in it.

He mentions racehorses a couple of times, and one of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare — “Would that my horse had the speed of your tongue,” says Benedick to Beatrice in “Much Ado About Nothing” — involves horses. But both references just refer to fast horses. Not the sport. He never mentions the sport at all.

Never mind that. According to this surreal video by Doug Schutte of the Bard’s Town, if he were still alive today, Shakespeare would say, “I love Derby. As much as I love America!”

But surreality is intrinsic to the Kentucky Derby. It’s decadent and depraved and a little odd. Kind of like most people’s Christmases. So the good folks at the Bard’s Town have mashed the two holidays with a Derby tree and Derby stockings and the Twelve Days of Derby.

Here’s the event schedule from the Bard’s Town:

12daysofderbyTuesday, April 22: On the 1st Day of Derby, the Derby Gods gave to me…

• 7 p.m.:  The Opening Round of the Funny Cide 3-on-3 Improv Tournament.
• 8 p.m: Erin Keane’s “Greetings from Cherokee Park” – readings from “Demolition of the Promised Land,” a Springsteen-esque book (and fun) event. (Hint: There might be BOSS-themed karaoke)

Wednesday, April 23On the 2nd Day of Derby, the Derby Gods gave to me…
• 6:30 p.m.: Bellarmine Jazz Recital
• 8 p.m.: Pub Trivia (Free)

Thursday, April 24: On the 3rd Day of Derby, the Derby Gods gave to me…
• 7:30 p.m.: Theatre — El Delirio Producciones
• 8 p.m.: Improv Jam! (Free)
• 10 p.m.: Comedy Collider Open Mic (Free)

Friday, April 25: The 4th Day…

• 6 p.m:  The Hungry Ears (live music from a fantastic Bowling Green band)
• 7:30 p.m.: Theatre — El Delirio Producciones
• 9 p.m.: Talk of Spring (live music)
• 10 p.m.: The Roast of Barbie

Saturday, April 26: The 5th Day…
• 7:30 p.m.: Damaged Goods Improv ($10 cash at the door)
• 7:30 p.m.: Theatre – El Delirio Producciones
• 10 p.m.: The Roast of Barbie

Sunday, April 27: The 6th Day…
• 6 p.m.: The Blind Dog String Band ($5)

Monday, April 28: The 7th Day…
• On the Seventh Day, God rested.  That’s good enough for the Bard.

Tuesday, April 29: The 8th Day…
• 7 p.m.: Finals of “The Funny Cide of Louisville 3-on-3 Improv Tournament
• 7 p.m.: Musician Sam Hadfield returns!

Wednesday, April 30: The 9th Day…
• 8 p.m.: Pub Trivia (Free)
• 9 p.m.: The Great Creamboat Face! (Free)

Thursday, May 1The 10th Day…
• 5 p.m. (until we’re no longer standing): THE 24th ANNUAL WING DING!  Wings, beer that’s darn-near free, shots on the ice luge, and music by The Jake Parker Band!  (Free)

Friday, May 2The 11th Day… 
• 8 p.m.: The Stable Barn Party (wears a costume and plan to party…it’s Halloween in May!)  (Warning: Karaoke may break out)
• 7:30 p.m.: Improv Anonymous
• 10 PM: The Roast of Barbie

Saturday, May 3: The 12th Day…the greatest day of the year
• 7 p.m.:  The 502 Crew
• 8 p.m.:  Drunk & Sailor Pirate Sing-a-Long!  ($5)

Each day the Bard’s Town will offer a different themed cocktail. You can check out the cocktail list here.

You know you’re going to want to hit up at least some of these events. Because few things say “Greatest Writer in the History of the English Language” like ice luges and Bruce Springsteen (the second greatest writer in the history of the English language), right?

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